Monday, June 27, 2011

Finding My Faith - part 1

This is going to be the first of a few posts...a series, if you will, about how I came to know about The Restored Gospel, Heavenly Father, and his plan for our salvation here on this earth. I've wanted to get this written down for a while and I figured I'd start now so I won't forget again. 

I can remember driving down Woodward as a kid and thinking to myself 'wow, that's a really pretty building' as we drove past the Detroit, Michigan Temple. I had no clue what it was or how precious it would become to me. All I knew is that I got this sense of wonder and awe every time I drove to work with my mom and we passed the building. 

Flash forward to my senior year of high school. I'm in Mr. Chandler's 3rd hour (maybe it was 4th but I think it was 3rd) AP US History class. I was a shy kid and tended to keep to myself, so I didn't really have that many friends. By sheer luck and chance I ended up choosing a spot next to a girl named Amanda. She was quiet and reserved like me and we hit it off right away. I got to know Amanda and got to know what was happening in her life. In December, she met a guy. I still remember hearing her tell me the story of how they met at her uncle's Christmas party and how she had gotten into a fight with her mom or something and this boy offered to give her a ride home. He was a member of the Church and soon enough they were dating and he was taking her to Church. 

I graduated and we lost touch. I was 3 hours away and she was still in high school. I went through a lot of heavy stuff my freshman year and got pretty lost for a while. I made some bad decisions and was in a really dark place for a while. I didn't really have any hope at that moment and felt so far away from God that I often wondered if I would ever be able to find my way back into his presence. 

When she was 18, she was baptised and applied to BYU-I. I was shocked when I heard that she was going to school in Idaho. Over the next few months I watched (via Facebook creeping) as she grew and blossomed into this amazing, strong young woman. Somewhere deep inside, I knew it was The Church that was responsible for her happiness. 

Why am I telling Amanda's story in a story that is supposed to belong to me? Well, Amanda's story is linked to mine.  I watched a girl do something that I could never dream of doing at her age. I watched her meet her husband, fall in love, and get married. I regret not going to their reception in Michigan to this day. 

Flash forward again to 2 summers ago (2009) and I'm doing my homework late one night at school. I'd always been intrigued by the LDS Church and had been wandering over to lds.org for a few months before and was curious. I hadn't really done more than look at the front page, wonder a little, then stuff the wondering feeling into the back of my mind and continue about my day.

So, back to the night at hand. I was seriously avoiding doing my homework and was just staring at the lds.org homepage. I noticed a little sidebar that said 'chat with a missionary'. That really had me wondering. My mouse hovered over the button as I contemplated clicking it. Should I do it? What would it really be like? What would happen if I talked to them? Questions zoomed in and out of my head as I suddenly felt this intense urge to learn more.

I clicked it and that one little leap of faith ended up changing my life. 


1 comment:

Amanda said...

My dear Jacky,
I cried while reading this post. Ask Jordan, he thought I had found another sad, depressing blog...but I was crying out of gratefulness. I never thought I would influence anyone, especially in such a good way. I'm grateful for the steps I have taken in my life, as I'm sure you are. You have the sweetest spirit, you can tell even by just reading this blog. Through my own struggles you have been an example of courage and faith to me.

Isn't it interesting that I always thought the same thing about the Detroit temple growing up? & that we sat together in AP U.S. AND that all three of us that sat together in that class were baptized in the church? I'm so grateful for that class, even if I did only get a 2 on the AP test...