Dear Kate (and Pippa): THANK YOU!

Unless you live under a rock, you might have heard of a little wedding going on today? Ya know...the one where people got up at ONE AM on the west coast to watch the coverage. I may or may not have gotten up at 6am to watch her walk into the church and down the isle with her dad. 

I seriously gasped out loud when I saw the gown all at once: 

The soon-to-be Duchess of Cambridge was wearing one of the most gorgeous and modest wedding gowns I have ever laid eyes on. I was stunned. The lace. The silhouette. The tiara. The veil. Simply perfection.  

And Kate's sister Pippa? I was a little shocked she was also wearing white but hey, it's a Royal Wedding. They can do whatever they please! Her dress was stunning, classy, and modest as well! 

So basically, Duchess and Pippa: THANK YOU for bringing modest back into style. (and thank you for giving me the exact wedding dress I want to wear someday too.) 

Day seven!

A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

This book changed my life. I know that seems a little weird, but it's completely true. I could go on and on and on for days talking about how it's changed me but I really don't think even I have the patience to read that. 

It's given me the most powerful and precious thing that has ever found its way into my life: my relationship with my Heavenly Father, my Savior Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost. 

p.s. if you're interested you can go to mormon.org to request your own copy! OR you can drop me a message and I'll figure out a way to get you one. Deal? 

Leaning on the Scriptures

The last 48 hours have been some of the most stressful and trying times I've had in a very long time. My dog was sick, I was awake all night, I needed to pass an exam in order to graduate, and I had two other exams to study for as well. I was way way overwhelmed. I was wondering why all this had waited to happen just hours before I would be done with school and officially a college graduate. I was a mess.

I knew I needed direction and something to hold on to if I was going to make it through the next 48 hours. Heavenly Father blessed me by leading me to this little gem:

Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many, but endure them for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days. - D&C 24:8

Seriously, this is why I love the scriptures. I was in a complete downward spiral. Charlie was sick and had to be taken to the ER at 5am. I was struggling to grasp the stupid math concepts. I was scared I wasn't going to graduate. My life was falling apart in front of my eyes so quickly that I was losing control.

Then I read that verse. My entire mood changed in less than 30 seconds. I wrote it down and repeated it to myself right then and when I got up this morning and again when I was sure I wasn't going to graduate because I had failed. It didn't seem like it at the time, but somewhere in my heart I knew that I was going to make it though. I also found comfort in this little saying I picked up from I don't know where:

Fear is the absence of faith. 

Which is 100% true. Every time I say it to myself, I am reminded of how much my faith centers me and keeps me grounded. Whenever the fear of the situation threatens to overcome me, this reminder always pops into my head without fail.

I am so thankful for the Scriptures and the words that give me my strength. I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. I am so thankful for all of the things that I have been blessed with and am so thankful for the opportunity to live this amazing life.

I'm starting this new amazing chapter in my life. In June, I'm moving 1,600 miles away from the only home I've ever known and starting over. I have so many things waiting for me in Utah that I can't believe it. A chance for a new beginning and a possibility to have everything I've ever wanted.

Day 6!!!

Favorite super hero and why:

I don't know if the X-Men count as super hero's but for arguments sake, let's pretend they are. I remember being OBSESSED with her when I was younger. I was also obsessed with her being in a relationship with Cyclops. I thought they were the cutest couple ever and I bought the comic where they get married and read it far too many times. 

I think I really liked her because she was so powerful and sure of herself but she also had the back up of an guy that supported her and loved her. 

Plus, she could read minds. How BAMF is that?! 

Day FIVE!

Day five: A picture of someplace you've been

Paris! 

I went with my mom the summer before 8th grade. My parents had just gotten their divorce so we were in such a messy situation. My mom and I had 11 days alone and I remember it being such a great escape for both of us (despite the fact that I may have locked myself in the bathroom and fell asleep after one of our fights. I was 12 and a hormonal teenager.) 

I ate shrimp (with eyes starting straight back at me) without complaint. I was offered wine at a restaurant. We got to see a van selling weed at the music festival that was going on. We got lost on the Metro. We cried. 

But most of all...we bonded. 

One Piece of Paper Changed My Life

So today was a big day. Talk about Easter being a great time for new beginnings...

To kind of give you some background, I was planning a trip out to Utah in June (I had even started a blog post about it but never finished) because I want to move out there. Yeah, I can hear it now, Jacky could you BE any more Mormon??? haha. I can hear the jokes already. But seriously, there really isn't anything in Michigan for me socially or professionally.

But I digress...I had planned on visiting in June then getting my butt back as soon as I could make enough money. Them last night, I was talking to my mom and had a slight melt down. It was the whole 'oh my gosh, I have no direction and I'm scared' story. I just suddenly felt so...lost. And I always have a plan. I'm never lost. I just lost it and started sobbing. I was so scared to come home because I didn't see a way out. I was scared of getting caught at home and not getting out. My mom talked me down (as usual. I'd be a mess without her. Seriously) And had me calmed down enough to go to bed.

This morning I went to Sacrament and then left early to meet her and my sister half way between my house and theirs for Easter Sunday lunch and my mom, being the cool mom that she is, handed us easter baskets! How cool right?!

But the most important thing was in an envelope that was in my mom's purse. She handed it to me and said "Happy early graduation. I want you to be happy." I opened it and basically, I can go out to Utah now regardless of a job or not.

Words cannot really explain how blessed I am and how thankful I am to my mom and Heavenly Father. It's been so easy...and now this happens and it's even easier. It's like He's pushing me towards Utah because I belong there. I know I belong there.

So, in June, I'll be on my way to becoming a Utah resident! :)

Day 4!

A habit that you wish you didn’t have


Picking at my cuticles. I do it when I'm nervous/anxious/bored and in high school I was pretty much one of those three things all the time. My fingers were gross. I've gotten better but I still bite and pick at the cuticles when I'm in class and it HURTS. I try to stop myself by painting my nails and sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't 


sigh. 

Challenge: Day 3

A picture of you and your friends

So these two are not only my sister and mom, they're also my best friends in the entire world. Seriously. I don't have many friends but I'm so lucky to have such an amazing momma and baby seester. 

<3

Challenge Day 2

The meaning behind your Blog name


Well. My blog name is Little Miss. Big World. 


Little Miss is easy enough. When I was little, I was a bit of a drama queen and my mom would call me Little Miss Drama. I even had a little pillow that said 'little miss drama' on it. Big World is also easy to understand. I'm about to embark on this adventure called post-graduate life. I have my college degree and this big whole world before me and I'm feeling a little...little...


So, there you have it. Little Miss (me) embarking on a huge adventure in a Big World. :)

Day 1

A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

1. In less than a week, I will have my college degree. 
2. I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
3. I'm a convert and was baptised on November 6, 2010
4. My relationships with Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost are so precious to me
5. I can't wait to get sealed to my husband in the Temple (cross your fingers it's in the Logan, Utah Temple!) 
6. I'm painfully shy and get embarrassed really easily
7. My dad is a cop and even though we don't have the best relationship, I'm fiercely proud of him for putting his life on the line to protect the community
8. I feel most comfortable in leggings, a long sweater and Uggs. Yes, I know thats awful fashion sense but I think it looks good and I'm comfortable in it. 
9. I secretly wish I could write songs, play the guitar and marry Darren Criss
10. I really wish I could marry Darren Criss
11. My dog is the only person/animal who truly knows me. 
12. I wish my mom would have forced me to stick with one sport/hobby when I was little. I was never a 'dancer' or a 'soccer player' or anything like that. I think I missed out on a lot. 
13. My greatest dream in life is to get married, have a bunch of babies and stay at home to raise all of them
14. I need near silence when I'm falling asleep or I stay awake and stress about how I can't sleep 
15. I believe that every single being on this earth has a tiny bit of good in them 

It's challenge time

A 30 day cheesey challenge. I'm done with school next Tuesday, so I'm going to have a lot of time on my hands. Hence, you guys all get to read those annoying 'about me' posts once a day. I apologize in advance.

so. challenge accepted. here's the list:

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero and why

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Your favorite song.

Day one is in the works. :) 

Almost. There.

Today I walked out of my very last college class ever. I still have finals to deal with next week, but those don't quite count. As far as I'm concerned, I will never have to sit through another pointless general education class that means nothing to me.

And I will never ever ever have to sit though another math class again! YAY! And I just did the math (ironic, huh?) and all I need is a 62% on the final to pass the class. And, if we do better on the final than we did on another test, she'll replace the final % with the bad test score! SO BASICALLY, I'm going to pass. By the skin of my teeth, but I'm going to do it! Thank. Goodness. I've always been hopeless at math. Just hopeless. So you can imagine how awful this semester has been. It feels like the worlds biggest weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

On a completely different and unrelated note, Charlie (aka Bug. aka the fattest dog ever) has been acting really weird lately. And he's gained a lot of weight over the winter. He's been having trouble getting up and has even slipped a few times going  up and down stairs. It's worried me like crazy. And yesterday he got sick 3 times. :( He's eating and drinking so there's nothing majorly wrong with him. I just worry. I know the issues are related to his weight, so the solution is simple: DIET FOR CHARLES. I feel like a bad mama.

Okay, back to me whining about my lack of direction...I'm supposed to move home...sometime...I have nothing packed and have no clue how I'm going to get all of my stuff home. I'm just pretending it's not going to happen. My friend turns 21 on May 3, so I'm staying in town until then but after that...I have ZERO plans. Besides Utah in June.

For the first time in my life I don't know what I'm going to do next. It's kinda scary. :(

There Is A Mouse In My House! :(

Thats right. You read that title right. Last night, I had the privilege of welcoming a mouse into my apartment. I was not pleased.

It was about midnight and I was all curled up in bed doing some reading for class when suddenly I heard a CRASH in my spare bedroom. Now, I didn't really think anything of it because my cat loves to mess around in there so I figured she just knocked something over. But then, I heard this scuffle going on in the hallway. I got out of my warm snuggly bed, flipped on the hall light and screamed.

My cat had this cornered in the hallway:

 Apparently, this mouse really likes screaming because it took off towards me with my cat close on it's trail. To my horror, it booked it into my room and behind my door.




I pulled on a sweatshirt and did the only thing I could think of: go to my neighbor upstairs, who happens to be a guy (yep. I'm sexist. I wanted a guy to handle this situation.) He grabbed his broom and marched into my apartment towards my bedroom door. A few pokes later, the mouse went running out towards my bed. My supposedly macho neighbor screamed, jumped and threw the broom on the floor. Awesome. Now there's a mouse under my bed. I suddenly had flashbacks to that Sex and the City episode when Carrie had a mouse in her apartment and she was woken up by it crawling across her face.

 I. Was. Hysterical.

My neighbor couldn't do much more, so he went off to bed. I decided to call the person who I thought would know best how to handle the situation: my dad. My dad's response? LAUGHTER.

So lets review: It's about 1am now. I have a mouse under my bed. A parent who is laughing at my hysterically and I'm convinced the furry little menace is going to crawl into bed with me. I was not pleased.

I decided it would be a good idea to go to the only open grocery store near my house (in a very shady neighborhood) to get mouse traps. The 'no see' kind. Welp. They didn't have any. All they had were the old fashioned ones and let's be honest, there was no way on this green earth that I was going to be disposing of a dead mouse on my own.

I slunk home, disappointed and slightly scared. I was also exhausted. So, I armed myself with my dog in the bed with me and took the covers and tucked them around me as tightly as I could. I think Cleo hunted the thing the entire night, so I kept waking up whenever she knocked something over. Not fun.

After class, I went to the hardware store and bought those 'no see' mouse traps, slipped a little peanut butter in them, and put them under my fridge and in my spare bedroom.

Let's hope this was the first and last time Little Miss meets a mouse...

Making a List. Checking it Twice

Things that I can't wait for:

• Get Endowed in the Temple. 
• Move to Utah
• Have a calling in my Ward
• See General Conference in person
• Meet 'the' boy
• Get a shiny ring slipped onto my left hand. 
• Get sealed in the Temple
• Go on Temple date nights with my husband
• Start one of those obnoxiously cute couple blogs 
• Be a mommy 
• Stay at home with my children
• Take my family back home and show them where I came from.  
• Push my baby in the stroller while my husband walks Bug on a walk around our neighborhood on a night in the middle of the summer
• Have FHE with my kids every Monday, even if they are too hyper to pay attention
• Be one of the obnoxious families in Sacrament that has 5 kids that won't sit still 
• Watch my son and/or daughter open his or her mission call
• Be sealed to my family in the Temple 

This is Where I Belong

You know that feeling when you've been staring at a math problem for hours on end? Completely stuck on one step? Not moving forward towards the answer, but not wanting to give up quite yet despite the feeling that you want to slam the book shut and toss it out the window? That's been my relationship with Heavenly Father for as long as I can remember. I know its there. I can almost grasp the concept, but I'm missing one tiny piece of the puzzle. Despite the size of the last missing piece, it's the most important and integral part to the answer. Without that, you're not quite complete. You're not quite finished. I've spent my entire life starting blankly at a page that has all of the work done until the very last part. I wanted so badly to give up but something kept gnawing at my soul. I knew that I wasn't complete without that last teeny tiny piece of myself.

Then, I found it. Well, really, the piece found me. That piece was the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. A small part in the beginning but once it was put snuggly into place, it grew outwards and attached itself to the rest of my soul. I received the Book of Mormon from a Missionary and read it. And after that, I started having some of the most important discussions of my life with some of the most amazing men and women that I had ever come across. I felt myself growing. Flourishing really. Flourishing in my faith.

One of the leaders of the Church says that your Testimony is a growing thing. You have to nurture it daily with love, respect, and plenty of food in order for it to grow. These last months have been dedicated to nourishing my Testimony. In one of the most turbulent, challenging and uncertain times of my entire life, I've found refuge in the words of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, the Prophets and the other leaders. I've found comfort in the words of Joseph Smith and his revelations. I've found refuge in the words given to us by Christ and Heavenly Father in the form of the Bible and Book of Mormon. Even in my angriest moments, I've felt the tug towards my Scriptures and prayer to keep strong. Despite my confusion at the loss of an innocent boy's life to suicide, I found solace in the words that Heavenly Father has given us. Despite the fear of not finding my partner for eternity, I have found answers in the words of the Prophets and teachers. Even in the words of the doubters and criticizing people I have found strength because I know how special my Testimony is to me.

Without a doubt, I know this Church is true. The Book of Mormon was directly given to us from Heavenly Father. Joseph Smith was the Prophet on this Earth that was entrusted to restore the Gospel and that Gospel has truly been restored. We have a Prophet here on this earth this very moment and his name is Thomas S. Monson. There is a plan of salvation for you and for me. Jesus Christ died in order for that plan to come true. He knows me by name. He knows you by name. He knows the person who hates him the most by his name and he loves them just as much as he loves me. I can do anything and everything with Heavenly Father's help and I finally have that missing puzzle piece that has completed my entire soul. I am so very thankful for the Atonement and Heavenly Father's infinite love for all of his children.

I say each and every single word in the name of the everlasting and holy name of Jesus Christ, the one who gave his life for me.

Amen

Dear Jacky of 5 years ago...

Jacky,

Today, you're turning 16. Dad is going to pull you out of school at lunch time to take you to the Secretary of State to get your license. He didn't tell you this and you didn't take the time to do your hair or put make up on. Don't worry, your picture still turns out fine.

You've just started a new school half way through your high school career. It seems scary. It seems like no one knows you or cares about you. This isn't true. You are new, but people still like you. Your high school is an amazing community so please take this opportunity to learn who you are. High school doesn't last forever and the scars that you have on your personality from being a painfully shy 16 year old still lasts today.

You're gorgeous. You have the ability to be the outgoing, bubbly cheerleader that you dream to be. You're going to grow up way too quickly in the next two years. Enjoy the innocence while you can. Seek out God a little more. He's waiting for you, I promise. You've felt his presence before but I promise there is a time when you feel his presence every single day of your life.

You are a daughter of God and should always expect to be treated as such. Expect more out of the men in your life. Even Dad. Especially Dad. He's going to continue to let you down again and again. Don't let yourself become bitter over it though. Don't let it ruin you.

Love more. Fear less. Forgive easier. Don't be afraid of getting attached. Don't be afraid to speak up. Never miss an opportunity to say 'I love you'. The next few years are going to be the hardest you've ever had but it does get better. It gets so much better baby. Just wait.

In the mean time, don't ever let them see you sweat.

love love love love

your future self.

Hey Jacky, what's goin on?!

The 'where do you see yourself in 5 years' question always bugs me. You see, I'm a believer in the whole 'if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans' thing. But at the same time, I know having goals is way important so I'm going to pose questions that I want to ask my future 25-year-old self.

• Am I married?
• Do I have kids? Were they boys first and then girls so my boys can keep watch over their little sister?
• Did I get sealed in the Temple?
• Am I working or being a stay at home mom?
• How long did it take I to get out to Utah permanently?
• Have I traveled out of the country?
• Do I still live in Utah? 
• Did I finally make the switch from a Blackberry to the iPhone?
• Who's our President now? 
• Is the economy still incredibly bad?
• If I'm not a mother yet, am I working at a company doing social media/PR? 
• Who do I marry?
• But most of all...am I happy?

Growing Up

18 days from now I'll have my college degree. I've been working toward that day for a majority of my life. Preschool. Elementary school. Middle school. High school. . .and finally college. Everything has lead up to this. This is what everyone prepares for. That climactic moment where someone inevitably gives you the Dr. Seuss book 'Oh The Places You'll Go' and expects you to treat the book like your own personal guide to life after graduation.

I've always been a student. It's been my identity for 20 some odd years. The one thing in my life that defines my purpose so clearly is vanishing in less than 30 days.

Needless to say, I'm having a bit of an identity crisis and going into slight panic mode. The real world is calling and I'd really like to screen it. Let life leave me a message after the beep. I promise I'll return the call. Maybe. But I think me and my future are in a fight.

So, I've turned to blogging. I figure it'll show me where I've been, how I've changed and how different my life is when I read this post a year from now. My future is hurtling toward me like a run away train. I'd like to record what happens when that train finally runs me over.

"You're educated. Your certification is your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world." - Tom Brokaw