How to prepare a husband

A good many husbands are utterly spoiled by mismanagement. 

Some women go about as it their husbands were balloons, and blow them up. 

Others keep them constantly in hot water. 

Others let them freeze by indifference and carelessness. 

Some keep them in a stew by irritating ways and words. 

Others roast them. 

Some keep them in a pickle all their lives.
It cannot be supposed that any husband will be tender and good if managed this way. 

But they are really delicious when properly treated. 

In selecting your husband, do not go to the market for him. 

As the best are always brought to your door. 

It is far better to have none, unless you learn to govern him. 

See that the linen in which you wrap him in is properly washed and ironed. 

With the required numbers of buttons and strings tightly sewed on. 

Since they are crabs and oysters, you must cool them alive.

If he sputters and fusses, do not be anxious, some husbands do this until they are done. 

Add a little sugar in the form of kisses. 

But no vinegar or pepper whatever. 

A little spice improves them, but it must be used with judgement. 

Stir him gently once in a while, lest he adhere tot he kettle and become useless. 

You will not fail to know when he is done. 

If this treatment is closely followed, you will find him all that is desirable.
And do not be careless and keep him in too cool a place. 

So, I found that in a old cookbook of my grandma's tonight. It's adorable and I just had to share. :)